Man’s Best Friend

They say that a dog is a man’s best friend and for many years I don’t think that I believed it. In fact, I wanted a dog so bad as a kid and we could never afford one so I think that I was scarred from those days. Naturally when my wife and kids asked for a dog I was absolutely against it. I was able to resist until the day………………

It was a Sunday and I received a phone call from my father. He asked are you guys going to be around for a while I want to come up. If you know my dad this would be extremely out of the ordinary. My dad is in Modesto so about 1 hour and a half later there was a knock at the door. My kids all three of them ran to the door in excitement. The funniest part is they had no clue nor did I or my wife what would be behind the door. We opened the door and my Dad was standing there with a three pound 8 week old pure breed Boston Terrier. That Sunday against all my better judgment and wishes KODA was born into the family.

So what has happened since then is that little tiny dog is now a one year and a half year puppy that my kids adore. My wife is his master (don’t even think about saying mine too). He sleeps in our bed every night. I had just gotten all the kids out of the bed but what the hay him or a fourth kid I will take him. I like him a lot when no one is looking and then I throw up the machismo when people are looking. Then it all happened……Last week on Friday we noticed that there was something wrong with his eye. We took him to the vet to discover that he had an eye ulcer. He was to have an ointment in his eye every two hours and I was selected to administer. My wife and kids left Sunday on a trip without me and it was just he and I. I have to say that we bonded and through all the ointment administering and talking to him because there was no one else I decided to publicly admit that I love the little guy. Monday I took him for the recheck and the Vet sent me to emergency eye care. She stated that his eye was REAL BAD! I went to the doctor and she stated that he needed to have surgery first thing this Morning. He was going to receive an eye graft and if that did not work he would lose his eye. Hundreds of emotions ran through me but the one that generally would have floored me: THE COST was of no concern.

Over the night I waqs worried sick but confident that the DOC would do her magic. The surgery was a success for KODA and for the doctor cha-ching! The most important thing is that I learned that a dog is truly A MANS BEST FRIEND. He would do anything for me and I will do the same for him.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH HOMES AND HOME MORTGAGES?

The answer is very simple. I think that are many times that we convince ourselves that we do not like something based on a past experience or trauma that we may have experienced. If we never want to look at a one story because we don’t feel that there will be enough privacy we limit our scope. Many times the very thing that we are adamant about can become the thing that we adore the most. I was so against a dog that for the first year that we have had the dog I have completely missed out on the joy that he brings to the table. Don’t let Stereotypes about FHA, Mortgage, certain neighborhoods or schools determine how you feel about something. Give yourself the shot of making your own decision as to whether or not something is for you. Also, give the person that is making the suggestion the chance to explain why before you knock it.

I have many clients that walk through the door saying NO FHA or NO Points and there are a lot of cases that they end up realizing that FHA with one point was mathematically the best choice for them. Go into everything with the same enthusiasm as a child. Approach it as though you know nothing and seek wisdom and wise counsel. Let the product or the numbers paint the picture for you. Seek the facts and the truth without limiting the windows that you are looking through and in the end you will be all the more wise and all the more satisfied.

JUST REMEMBER THAT I MISSED A YEAR OF MY DOGS LIFE BECAUSE I HAD A PRE-DETERMINED VIEW THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY INCORRECT! KODA you truly are a man’s best friend and thank you so much for the life lesson that you have taught me.

Remember Field Day? What I learned while volunteering.

Today was field day for my daughter’s school. She asked that I be there to help with one of the stations. I can never resist the look in her eye when she asks. So I agreed not knowing what I might get myself into. The alarm goes off this morning at 5am and I am excited for what the day has in store. My daughter is woken up by her little brother so her excitement was definitely subdued. In fact she was super grumpy this morning. When the fog wore off and she caught fire she said to me Daddy, ” Are you ready to go?”

We jammed out to the car and we headed to the gas station to fill up on the way to school. My daughter being the worrier that she is says again, “Daddy can we talk about the rules for a minute?” “Sure,” I said ” What might the rules be?”

1. Don’t embarrass me?
2. Don’t embarrass yourself
3. Have Fun
4. Be silly but not to silly
5. Know who you are and who you represent

After I was firmly told what the rules would be and how I was to follow them I said to her that they sounded simple enough. I would do my best to follow them and if she notices anything I asked that she kindly let me know but not in front of everyone. We signed the pact just as we were arriving to the school.

The stage at the school was set. The parents had their coffee and the kids had a bag full of excitement.

Time to Check In: I was instructed to go to the cafeteria and check in to find out my assignment. The gossip and the chatter was amazing. All of the parents that I normally see volunteering and more. Many of them carried the look of worry all over their face, stress, excitement, inconvenience, contentment, sleep deprived, and all the other emotions we see on adults each day. As I stepped up to the table I said, “I am Matt Freeman where am I to be placed today?” Quickly I was told that I would be manning the bean bag toss. I was pointed to my materials and shown the map on where to go. I walked over and grabbed my materials and walked with confidence over to my site.

First Lesson of the Day: When we are provided direction and commands for something as simple as my job and my station we follow without hesitation. I walked with confidence. I then asked myself why it was so easy to follow the commands of a volunteer at the school and so difficult to follow the commands I have chosen to live by. Do I complicate things by getting in the way? Our own intellect is many times my own worst nightmare. I try to control the outcome and I am not in charge. The command was “follow me.”

Once I got to the site I set up the station. Clear direction: Divide the kids into two groups of ten and have them toss the bags into the holes. They can keep score by teams or they can keep their individual score. I was paired with two mothers from other children at the school. They were pleasure to be around and overall seemed to be happy to be there. The whistle blows and time for the first group.

My daughter was in the first group so I made sure to follow the rules that I was bound by. I might have embarrased her a little because I was acting silly but I know that later when her friends said that I was cool she had a smil;e in her eyes. The first group stepped up and nailed the tosses. Attempt after attempt. Many times they missed but that did not stop them from trying again. Each time that we stepped up the challenge they were game. They never backed away from the challenge and they approached each with a smile on their face.

Second Lesson of the Day: There are going to be many challenges in life that we are presented. Each one may be harder then the next. We cannot tire and we cannot be afraid to accept a perceived challenge. When we do not accomplish it on the first attempt we are to try again. They were Joyful about what field day had brought them. Opportunity to grow with each failure and to be humble in our success. There were many that never made a shot but they kept throwing. There were some that made every shot and they never were boastful. They high fived each other as brothers and sisters and supported each other until the end. At times their critiquing may have seemed harsh but it was honest and necessary.

Summary: I am so happy that I followed my heart and volunteered. Had I not went I would have been to busy buried in my work to notice the things that I have to learn and be reminded of. So next time that you are invited to go to a field day or similar event turn the phone off, roll up the sleeves and enjoy yourself. Just remember Rule #5 “Know who you are and who you represent.”

Grandma and Grandpa Learned me Good!

Death is an inevitable part of life. Everyone will experience losing a loved one at some point of their life. Losing a loved one is a very difficult thing to process. It can stop you in your tracks and send your mind into warp speed. As your mind is warping you think about what I should have done, need to do, regret doing, and all the ways that you failed to connect to the loved one you have lost. Then you step back for a moment and begin to remember all the good things that you did with the loved one. You begin to see all the things that they had taught you that you did not know were lessons at the time.

As many of you already know I recently lost my Grandmother. Evelyn Freeman was one of the greatest people that I have had the opportunity to be influenced by. She was a mother, daughter, wife, grandmother, great-grandmother, friend, confidant, disciplinarian and most of all a teacher. It is because of my Grandparents that I am so sharp with my math skills. We would sit down at the table and play 10,000 which has various forms. We play with seven dice and have for the last 30 years. The game requires addition, quick number recognition and some luck if you want to beat my grandfather. After we took each other’s money playing 10,000 my dad and grandpa would begin to snore and grandma and I would sit up and play Skip-bo. This was another game that required math skills and the ability to plan ahead, have a strategy, notice potential obstacles, and be crafty and alert. I lost a lot but my grandmother would give in and let me win a few to keep me going. Many times she would stop and say did you see this Mathew? You could have done this if you would have been patient.

Here are a few things that Grandma and Grandpa taught me:

Commitment – 68 years my grandmother and grandfather were together. They were committed to their relationship that may not have always been just peachy. Through the good and the bad they stuck by each other and worked through it. Grandpa was a farmer and crops were not always plentiful. There were many times that their home value tanked and others when it sky-rocketed. Grandma and Grandpa knew a few things.

1. They always needed a place to stay and so they saw their place as “home” first and an investment second(it’s worth 77 times what they paid for it years ago).
2. Slow and steady wins the race. They were never in a hurry to make significant upgrades that they could not pay for with cash. Their “home” provided everything they needed. Although many of their friends were building palaces that eventually crumbled they stuck together.
3. Maintaining the goal of paying off the mortgage so they had to answer to no-one when they could have pulled out lot’s of money to do what they loved, Gambling.

Price is what you pay value is what you get – Grandma and Grandpa paid the price of hideous wallpaper that still resides on the walls in exchange for the ability to live without financial fears. As the crop failed they knew that they had enough seed stocked away to get them through the times. The wallpaper can wait. They did not rush to buy the next big thing. They also always stuck with a fixed rate mortgage. One term and done. If they refinanced they made sure they they stayed on track to pay off. Never backwards.

A slow start is a good start – This was a saying during every dice game when grandpa was losing. What he was really saying was: Every strong household needs a solid foundation. There is no need to rush anything in life. Live in the moment and understand what the future may bring. Know your history and be prepared for it even if it requires you to stay in second gear a little longer. “Don’t be lightning McQueen and allow your tires to blow!” When you build a foundation that is solid you will always catch up to the others. Just think about the three little pigs:)

Exercise good Judgement – Going back to skip-bo grandma was trying to tell me not to get ahead of myself. Study the board and my opponent, my market, prepare and seize the opportunity when it presents itself. Today’s market is that opportunity. Low prices and low rates. A perfect storm if you will. The government will pay you to buy your first home. Let your opponent show their cards and then make your first move. Always have a counter and never be too desperate.

1. Exit Strategy – So much of the market mess was created by the lack of an exit strategy. We knew how to get in and capitalize if the market stayed the course. We did not plan a strategy to get out. Long term hold, investment that pencils out from the gate, ability to stay the course as things go awry, and the ability to avoid panic. A carefully crafted exit strategy can be the difference. Grandpa and Grandma stayed the course and were always in a position to sell if they needed to simply because they did not leverage their home for toys.

Risk only what you are willing to lose - As I said earlier my grandparents loved to gamble. They always seemed to win although I know that this was not always the case.  What I began to realize as I grew older is that they only gambled with what they were willing to lose. This gave them the ability to to play freely. They did not have to worry about the downside of a bet. Lose and go home to play again another day. They did not gamble what they could not afford to lose. Many of us gambled with the very thing that we could not afford to lose. We took major risks, we rushed, bought more of a home than we ever deserved to own and now we are hoping that others can bail us out. Believe me when I say I am not criticizing. This was a hard learned lesson. For those that read this and say I have done everything right. My home is upside down and now I have to bailout all the others that made the mistakes my grandparents would have said:

1. No-one else matters. Are you selling your home? If no then remember that our home is worth 77 times what we paid for it. Have you lived in your “home” for 45 years. Be patient and you will be rewarded for your patience.
2. A slow start is a good start – so you started backwards – you are now only left with forward – cherish it!
3. Owning a home is like marriage. It is a commitment that you must stick with. Don’t divorce your home at the first sign of adversity. Remember what you loved about it in the first place and focus on that. In the waning moments of my grandmother’s life she looked over at my grandfather and said, “I always had an eye for that man.” She remembered that her commitment was to the very end.
4. Remain childlike. Continue to question until they day that you are gone. My grandpa said to me the other day, “Mathew I am always learning something new. I know a lot about farming but the things that they can do now days. I just finished learning about a new almond tree that does not require pruning or bees. Bees are $145 a hive driving the profit down. We will see how they yield in comparison but they are the new thing.” Perspective for a moment, this is my 93 year old grandfather who can spit out the number of days before corn will produce good silage. 105 days if you were wondering.
5. Use or lose it! Freeman’s live long and it is mainly because they continue to challenge themselves to the end. We are a stubborn bunch who are strapped with curiosity. That game 10,000 not only taught me the sharp arithmetic skills that I have come to love but it kept my Grandparents learning and teaching.

If you are one of the many that lost your home to foreclosure or had to short-sale just know that this does not define you. How you bounce back will. I strongly suggest Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover it will change the way that you look at money management forever. Three years and some guidance from one of the most sought after finance educators in the country and you will have positioned yourself to buy again. If you are one of those that has done everything well and were a victim of the market answer this: Do you open your 401K statements and look at the balance weekly? If you answered know then stop thinking about the house.

In conclusion, when I was reflecting back on the life of my Grandmother I began to realize that I am in such a hurry sometimes. Why the rush? My grandmother lived 89 happy years and one of the last things that I heard her say was I always had an eye for that man. Take care of him. She knew what was ultimately important. She also asked to go in her home. Not a convalescent or a hospital room. No, she wanted to go in the very home that she spent her life in. Home-ownership to my grandmother was a commitment. One that was not rushed, doctored up, neglected, but one that was honored. She was humbled by the fact that she was allowed the opportunity to own acreage in the heart of the valley. Prime agricultural Real Estate. She was not willing to risk that and move to bigger and better. She gambled only what she was willing to do without.

In loving memory of Evelyn Freeman. You will forever be missed but never forgotten. May your lessons continue to be passed on for generations to come.